Unknown To Me

Unknown To Me

Early pregnancy test

My mother is called Olgaho she was impregnated by my unknown father when she was in secondary school some 50 years ago. For the bitterness in the heart of my mother, she did not tell me what the name of the man who impregnated her is. She does not want me to know the name of the man, for if I know the man’s name, I may sometimes be making mention of the name which would open her already healed wound she said to me.

As at the time when she was telling me about what betide her those days, she does not know where the man is, whether he is yet alive or he is dead she couldn’t say, neither could any of my relatives say this too.

After my father put my mother in the family way, he traveled out of Tapao village which is my mother’s village to Badao town under the auspices that he wants to go and further his education in Badao town which is one of the big towns accommodating the colonial masters of the country then.

According to what my mother said, the day that my father would be leaving the village was a memorable one for her, because she has been planning about his traveling with him and has been stealing things from her parents to give to her love, my father, because she does not want him to suffer where he was headed for.

Badao town was a big town according to the reports heard, it was about 1000 times if not more the size of Tapao village during this time, and as histories had it, no member of Tapao town has ever been to the place before this time that my father was heading for the place.

Because of this, my mother started to take things secretly from her parent’s properties to the man in her life, because she does not want him to suffer, she wants him to have everything he would need on a relative basis before he starts seeing supports from people, when he gets to Badao town.

My mother’s parents were not aware that this man had put her in the family way during this time, because I was not more than 8 weeks during this time in my mother’s uterus during this time.

My mother couldn’t sleep well when my father wanted to leave Tapao village. Before the day break, she said she would have woken up about 30 times or more just to ensure that she does not miss seeing my father off when he would be leaving our village.

During this time, road to our village has not been asphalted, therefore, those who will be going to other towns would have to trek to the next village. Because my father would walk to the next village where he would board a long truck that would take him and others to Badao town, that was why my mother has not been able to have a sound sleep that night and coupled with the fact that she doesn’t want her parent’s to know that she wants to see the man off that day, she does not have a deep and sound sleep.

My mother said she sneaked out of the house at the first cockcrow to go and meet my father at the appointed place. When she gets there, she couldn’t have waited for 5 minutes when my father arrived. After warm embrace, and brief talk of the need to keep faith in him that he would come back for her immediately things sort itself out for him in Badao town.

My father has told my mother that he has been offered scholarship to study in the university in Badao town. That was the only university in our country then.

Few months after getting into Badao town, my mother says she received another letter from my father in which the man stated that he was doing well in the town and that he has not forgotten his promises for my mother. By this time, my mother’s pregnancy has been known by my mother’s parents. They were disappointed that she has taken in for a man who may not return to the village again, because according to my mother’s parents’, the family of the man is not reliable and people of the town hardly want to be involved with the family because of their many lies, insincerity.

My mother said she was defending my father, telling her parent’s that her love was a different one and he would prove them wrong by the time he returns to take her to himself in Badao town. When he comes to take her, according to mama, then I would return to school because he would be able to sponsor my education then, she said she used to tell them.

According to her education during this time is important only few people have access to education then and all those who have such access, immediately they graduated from the university would be employed and some according to her before they graduated would have been gainfully employed by the government of our country.

Thus, she was hopeful that her husband, my father, would come for her soon, because she believes that she would have been employed by the government of the country.

Her parents were skeptical about all my mother said and they were telling her that they hoped and prayed such would be her lot.

Days rolls into weeks, weeks into months, and it was time for my mother to put to bed, and she delivered a bouncing baby girl which is me. On the eighth day according to the custom of my village I was christened, and the name given me is Idapadaogo.

Two years after given birth to me, my mother received a letter from my father in the letter she said my father profoundly begged her and told her that she hasn’t forgotten her, but that things turned to another way for him in the University as he has been offered admission into a foreign university on scholarship and he would be leaving in 2 weeks time.

By the time the letter gets to my mother, my father has been long gone on checking the date on the letter.

My mother said on receiving and reading through this letter she cried bitterly. It was her mother who comforts her, telling her that since he writes her, he may eventually make do with his promises to her. Her mother told her this because she does not want her to develop some psychological problems because of the love my mother has for my father.

This was how my mother started waiting for my father’s return, but my father did not return for her, neither did he send another letter to her after the earlier letter sent to her of his scholarship to study abroad.

Bitter Pill

After 15 years of waiting, by this time, I was in my first year in the secondary school, people started talking to my mother of the need to start looking for another man to be married to. At the initial this was a hard pill for my mother to swallow.

My grandparents advised my mother to move out of our village to another village, called Woroky. She was told that moving to another village would help her think straight, think the condition she was in through and decide for or against what they have discussed with her.

About 10 months after my mother got to Woroky village, she decided to toe the line her parents have admonished her on, she decided to get married to someone else.

She soon gets involved with a man who has also moved to the village to establish his business there. This man, Mr. Rikardo, also has issue from his first marriage, but his husband died when the child she has for him was 15 months old. After his wife’s death, he left his daughter, Sholey, with his aged mother to cater for her as he leaves his village for Woroky village.

At Woroky village he becomes involved with my mother and they soon got married to each other. I was the only one living with them, because my stepfather’s daughter, Sholey, was with his parents.

But I never love my mother’s husband’s approaches to me because I used to think that he does not love me because I am not his biological offspring.

Soon afterwards, I started seeing a guy, who is called Banjuah. When I started seeing this man, I was yet in third year in the secondary school.

My stepfather was not happy with my movements when I started dating Banjuah and he would call me to advise me that I should face my studies and leave the guy, but I never yielded to his advice because I was thinking that it was because he knew the guy I was dating that was why he was asking me to drop him.

When his pressure was much on me to drop the guy, I leave the guy for another guy whom he did not know and was playing secret love with him.

The road I started to trek started affecting me and I couldn’t face my studies again, all I was doing was writing love letters to the guy. This development affected my academics and I was unable to finish my secondary school.

When I discovered that my result was among those who could not be promoted in the secondary school, I decide to elope with the guy to another town.

It was his country home that we fled to because he has not job, we were living with his parents who were herbalists. While living with them, I gave birth to four children for him, one male and three females.

After serial complaints on the lifestyle of his parents, which I was not contented with, he decided to take me to another nearby town against his parent’s counsels.

Three years after leaving his parent’s house, all my children died under mysterious circumstances, 2 months after losing our last child, my spouse left the house and never returned to me again. He sent letter to me afterwards that he doesn’t want to see me again ever.

I started fending for myself, I joined those who were doing hard labor in the market with the hope of raising money for myself to get something started. At this place, all the male workers were making advances to me, saying if I do not agree to their advances, I should leave the place. I had to leave the place after a while.

Business woman

I moved to the market where I started carrying loads from a store to the garage for customers who bought goods from a big store. While at this work one day I saw one of my mother’s friends who said she has relocated to the town. She told me of how my mother and my stepfather have labored to know where I was when I left home, she advised me that I should return to them because they loved me, and that if I could return home my parents would set me up. They are now very rich she said.

After 6 months that I met with this woman I returned to my mother and my stepfather. I was warmly received, by them and my step siblings. The time I returned to my mother marked twenty years that I have left her and my stepfather.

Ever since I returned, my stepfather whom I thought has no love for me, has been there for me, he has set me up and I now own a very big business center in the town.

I sat down to think on the past, and I know that I have mistook his love for me, by now, I would have became one of the biggest people in town, assuming I do not want to further my education, but because of ignorance, teenage exuberance, I mistook his love for me to mean that he is punishing me.

I have learnt from my mistakes, and I am now patiently treading, I do not even think I want to be married again because many males are approaching me to be married, but what I have learnt from the guy who left me, gripped my heart hard such that I do not think I need any man again in my life, I want to live my life to the fullest want to enjoy my life, everything I was unable to enjoy before I want to enjoy now.

How I wish the time be reversed, but the time cannot be reversed.